Preparing For The Holidays . . . And a Gift For You!

Hello, my dear friends.

Wow, has this year flown by or what? Seems like just a few weeks ago we were celebrating Easter. I really believe the old saying of as you get older the years go by quickly. Now, we are just weeks away from the holidays and the end of 2017.

Preparing for the holiday season and the high expectations you have can really wreak havoc on your emotions. That thing your uncle does that makes you super angry? There's no reason to think he won't do it this year and that it won't trigger you again. It's good to take some time to think about specific potential landmines so you won't be caught off guard. Maybe when things get a bit dicey you will decide to take a 10-minute walk, or take a deep breath and change the subject to something positive, or excuse yourself to text a friend, these are all great ways to reset yourself. Sometimes there is power in smiling, nodding and changing the subject. Give yourself permission to walk away from anything that doesn't feel right is okay to do. It's called self-care my dear. Taking care of yourself.

If this sounds all too familiar to you and you know you will need support before the holidays get here. Or you need some support for your everyday life...you're in the right place.

From now until November 15th I am running a special you won't want to miss! I am giving a 20% discount on my Life Coaching packages with the 1st session of meet and greet FREE. That's right. The first session we jump on the phone and discuss what area of your life you most want to examine, and why it is such a struggle for you.

I want you to pull your desires from the back burner forward, to live your full life like you desire. I can help you do that. Too often we reach for quick fixes and look outward for answers, abandoning our true selves. But deep inside, you may have a sense that life could hold so much more, more fire, more joy, more peace, more health, more clarity, and more love.

Check out these SUPER testimonials from some happy and satisfied clients here.

I inspire my clients to raise their standards by encouraging them to think and act bigger.

You can find out about all my sessions and packages here.

Grab your time with me by clicking the reply button and letting me know. We can start right away to ensure you have the best holiday season yet. I guarantee it. Because I believe in you.

I hope my blog posts bring you hope and inspire you to do something big in your life.

Much love,

Susan

Supporting my son Lindsey and the LGBTQ Community

Supporting my son and the LGBTQ Community
 
When my son, Lindsey, came out to me during a Facetime call, I was in shock. Totally confused by my feelings; I felt as if the room spun out of control. But then, in the same few seconds, while I was trying to deal with my emotions, I saw a glimpse of the emotional and mental pain he was in, and how terribly scared he seemed of my reaction to the information he had just told me. I can’t imagine the fear he felt at that moment. Will she reject me now? Will she still love me? Is our relationship going to be as close as it was before I told her? And this conversation was made especially hard because we were 16 hours apart from each other. My greatest fear was due to being so far away from him would feel alone and groundless. I was in constant contact with him for the next few days giving him support through long talks, a lot of time just listening to him and how he was dealing with his emotional state. I not only support my son, but I am extremely proud of the person he has become. He is a fun-loving, adventurous, caring man with a phenomenal sense of humor and a huge compassionate heart that is now comfortable in his own skin, as he should be.
But, did you know researchers have found that attempted suicide rates and suicidal idealization among LGBTQ youth are comparatively higher than among the general population? Without the support from parents, the chance of suicide by an LGBTQ youth is 58%. However, with support from patents, the chance of suicide drops to 4%. What a staggering statistic. One of the most important things these young adults are looking for is “parental acceptance.” Being a part of this community holds many challenges; therefore any support is imperative to all involved. Starting at a young age, much LGBTQ youth hide their true identities from the people they love the most because of fear of rejection or abandonment. All they really want is to belong.
If you are struggling parent of an LGBTQ child and need some guidance to better support your son or daughters consider these steps.

• Support your child. The sad reality is they may not get the support from those they need it from most; therefore, this task falls on the parent's shoulders.

• Listen to your child. Communication is vital to understand their feelings and thoughts.

• Educate yourself. Here are a few articles, blogs I found that maybe helpful for you. https://theevolveproject.org/empowerlgbt/ https://www.campuspride.org/blog/ www.impactprogram.org

• If I can be a resource or a sounding board for you and your family through this journey please feel free to reach out. I would love to hear from you. My email address iswagnermsusan@gmail.com

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself! 
- Harvey Fierstein

I opened a door and walked through it telling you this story. I am not embarrassed or ashamed, I am over the moon because he is happy and living the life of his dreams. The picture above proves that. He is pictured with his dog Tonks in Miami, Fl where he and his boyfriend Michael resides.    

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Susan's Manifesto

I give myself permission to be vulnerable enough to let you know what I stand for. 

I believe everyone should be able to make their own choices.

I will let myself be happy, joyous and free.

I refuse to feel guilty because I don't measure up to someone else's expectation. 

I believe everyone should try yoga and see if you love it like I do.

I will listen to everyone's point of view but listen to mine more.

I will always look for the silver lining even if it requires making a mistake first.

I will know my worth and appreciate what I have to offer and be proud of myself.

I will not downplay my good qualities just so someone else can feel better about themselves.

I will say NO more often to things that don't fuel my tank or feed my soul.

I will always give myself a 2nd try... and a 3rd and 4th.

I believe you should always use the expensive perfume and wear the saucy panties for yourself - no one else.

I believe everyone has a story to tell.

I want to live in a world where meditation is taught in every school.

I believe one thank you note can change the course of your life.

I believe life is filled with simple pleasures and small indulgences every single day.

I believe being is more important than doing.

I believe I AM ENOUGH even on my worst days!

I believe prayer can move mountains.

I will allow myself to fall flat on my face over and over again and let it mean nothing more than I am persistent.

I will always make time for my tribe.

I believe listening to the rain on a tin roof while drinking coffee is so relaxing.

I believe success means feeling passionate about what you do in life.

I believe I am nothing if not resilient.

I believe that being the mother of Hannah and Lindsey is the best job I can have. 

Now you know what I stand for and what I am passionate about. I want you to tell me just one thing you stand for in your life. It can be anything at all.

I hope this blog motivates you to live a life that energizes you to dream and reach your goals.  

NO PERMISSION NEEDED

"You don't need anybody's permission to live a creative life." Elizabeth Gilbert

Have you ever come across a person or situation in your life what you walked away a different person? A person so different your family and friends tell you "Wow, you've changed." It could be your closet friend from grade school, your cousin you spent every summer with as a kid, or the next door neighbor...each and every one of them will say this, repeatedly.

Maybe you finally started that yoga class you been talking about for months. Or that square dance class (I hear it's making a come back). Maybe you're spending more time in the coffee shop listening to poetry readings or gospel music and it's not sitting well with your friends, coworkers or family members especially your parents. Well guess what?

You don't need anybody's permission to take a poetry class.

You don't need anybody's permission to take a flying lesson.

You don't need anybody's permission to go back to school and get that degree.

You don't need anybody's permission to have interests that you never thought you would .

You don't need anyone's permission to have blue hair and a tattoo.    

The only person you need permission from is you. 

You be You and I will be me. How about that. Just be the best you can be today and everyday.

Give yourself permission to live, love, laugh today.

XOXO,

SUSAN  

Bully Me No More

Did you know that 45% of Americans have experienced some kind of bullying in the workplace?

Did you know 40% of the workplace bullies are women? Women bullies pick on other women more than 70% of the time according to the nationwide poll by the Employment Law Alliance. 

www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-michelle-callahan/work-bullies_b_833977.html

How do you know if it is bullying you are experiencing or just a misunderstanding, communication breakdown? 

Bullying is something that happens again and again - not when this person is having a bad day. Being a target of bullying can show up in other parts of your life: headaches, loss of appetite, high blood pressure, trouble sleeping. Carrying stress home and taking it out on family members.

One thing I learned from my own bullying experience was this: staying focused on my own work and not getting caught up in the nonsense and jeopardize my position with the company.

A few tips I want you to be aware of if you find yourself in this position.

Don't blame yourself or second guess that maybe it's something you did to cause this behavior. Bullies take pleasure in manipulating their victims. Stay healthy and educate yourself, document everything, and build a support system.

As you work through these steps in a positive way, implement a good nights sleep and healthy diet, you will prevail. Turn a negative situation into a positive one by realizing this is a very good learning experience.

Thank you for reading my blogs.           

Happy Friday People

It's Friday People!

Wanted to pop in your inbox and wish you a wonderful weekend. I hope you do something this weekend that makes you come alive.

Take a walk in the woods and enjoy the bountiful of colors exploding of the leaves.

Go for a bike ride and feel the crispness in the air and across you face.

Grab a blanket and a good book, head to the park you have been wanting to visit for so long.

Ride the wave of the new found energy you have, and keep it going throughout your life. Because you are worth it!   

Follow your instincts. Life happens now. 

Whether you are trying to make a decision about work, relationship issues, parenting or anything else...go with the flow...that feeling deep down inside but afraid to admit it. Yes, that one. 

The gleam or that feeling that really speaks to your heart when a little nudge come from God/Universe telling you are on the right track. Don't discount it. Embrace it and bring that energy into your life...Every dang day!!!  I experience these moments in the morning when I am meditating or when I am being still and enjoying my coffee. Moments that are cherished.

How have you felt your new found energy lately?

What decisions can I help you with as your Life Coach? Reply to this email and let's talk.

2017 is coming up quick. It's time to schedule you Vision Board Workshop. I have some on the calendar already and have few spots left...what is stopping you from getting girlfriends together and focus on your goals for 2017? It's fun and exciting.

XOXO,

Susan

What's Up With Susan?

Praying about...I am praying and thanking God that Hurricane Matthew did not his Miami, Fl as hard as it was expected to. My son, Lindsey, and his partner, Michael just moved to Miami a few weeks prior to the hurricane. They live in a condo on the 10th floor of the building, so I was very concerned if he would have electricity, food, etc. You know, all the things that a mother can worry about I did, and then some. Lindsey seems to do this to me about every 2-3 years. He moved to Boston, MA, two weeks before a snowstorm buried the city with 18 inches of snow. He was snowed in his house for 2 days. Just when you think you have them grown and they're on their own, here comes a whole new set of worries.     

Reading...Unashamed, Drop the Baggage, Pick Up Your Freedom by Christine Caine. Need I say more? This book is so powerful! It is so true that shame holds us back, holds us down and holds us hostage from all our hopes and dreams. This book spoke to me in so many ways, but the most compelling area was releasing the guilt and shame of a failed marriage - the feeling of never being enough when I was younger. However, Christine's writings reinforced my belief that I can conquer and do anything I want with the Holy Spirit by my side. He is there to guide me if I only put my trust in him today and every day.

Working on...I am super thrilled about my coloring note cards! I collaborated with a local artist, Maria Schweizer, to put my ideas actually on paper. These cards represent how I am feeling these days in my life...FEARLESS, CREATIVE, LOVE, INSPIRE! Coloring as an adult has proven to be a wonderful way to become relaxed, relieve my stresses, and be mindful of my surroundings. And wouldn't you know it; I have some extras for sale! They are 7 cards for $16.00 or $2.50 each. They are wonderful gifts for a special person in your life, and remember, Christmas is right around the corner.         

Watching...This past Sunday morning, I watched Super Soul Sunday on the Oprah channel OWN. Her guest was a man by the name of Carl Lentz. He is the Lead Pastor at Hill Song Church in New York City. I have never heard of him before, but wow is he awesome. I connected with him on so many levels...he spoke such a real message about God being the real encourager, and how we usually get in trouble when our ego gets in our way. Ego + Edging God Out. I have realized things learned as a child and growing up really don't hold much water today in my relationship with God. My connection with God is soooo much stronger than it has ever been in my life. 

Thank you for dropping in to read my blog and hope you get what you need just for today. 

Love and Light

Susan   

THEY ARE HERE!!!

I am super excited to share a project I collaborated on with a local, talented artist, Maria Schweizer. We worked long and hard on developing my coloring notecards to share with my followers, and that time has finally come! They are a creation of a perfect way to get your coloring fix on and spend some time with yourself pondering those important things in life. Did I say I was SUPER excited?

These notecards also answer the question, "now what do I do with my coloring pages after I finish them?" Enjoy some YOU time while coloring the notecards, then share them with your friends and family. Or, gift them to a loved one so that they enjoy a little time to themselves and relieve some stress while coloring.

Please respond to this my email, swagner@susanmwagner.com and let me know how many sets of notecards you want and with your address.  

They are $2.50/per card, or 7 cards/$16.00 for a savings of a $1.50. Each with their own inspiration.

Life is an Adventure

Fearless

inspire

Stay curious, Stay connected, Stay creative

LOVE

HOPE

I hope you enjoy coloring these cards as much as I have.

Thank you,

xoxo

Susan

Your Self-Talk - is it Destroying You?

So many of us struggle with nasty, negative thoughts, or what some might call "self-talk". We beat ourselves up because we didn't cook the dinner just right, or we forgot to pick up the dry cleaning on the way home, or we missed the grapes on the shopping list; the list can go on and on. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be SUPER-WOMAN, SUPER-MOM, and SUPER-WIFE, super this and super that.

Think about this...for every ONE negative statement, it takes EIGHT positive statements to make up for just that one negative thought.  

WHY DO WE ALLOW OUR SELF TALK TO BE SO NEGATIVE?   

Were we spoken to in a negative manner as a child? Were our educators addressing us in negative tones during our most sensitive development phase?  Were we bullied by a classmate or relative? 

Many of us also have deep-seated beliefs that are working against us. We may believe we don't deserve happiness or positive things in our lives. But that is a lie...a lie most of us have told ourselves our entire life. "This is the best it is going to get." "I will never be able to lose the weight before the summer." "I will never be able to finish my degree now since I have kids."  

This type of negative self-talk must change. Unfortunately, you are your own worst enemy, but you should be your own BEST FRIEND! Be your own CHEERLEADER!

Would you want you daughter to see you having these conversations with yourself? What kind of message is that sending to her?

Love yourself for who you are, not who everyone else thinks you should be. We have one chance at this life, so be happy and get out there and live it to the fullest.     

What would happen if you stood in front of the mirror every morning and told yourself...I LOVE YOU! 

I bet doing this every day would kick the negative self-talk to the curb once and for all.

Try it...I DARE YOU! 

Then hit the reply button below, and tell me how this is changing your self-talk.

Thank you for taking time out of your busy day to read my newsletters. I appreciate it!

XOXO,

Susan

The Importance of Time Management

We all have the ability to do more than one thing at a time...I mean come on we are parents for heaven's sake. Who hasn't juggled a child in the bathtub and a phone in our ear or cooking dinner for the family and paying bills on the computer. 

But do you really know how to manage your time?

The definition of time management is the act or process of planning and exercising conscious control over the amount of time spent on specific activities, especially to increase productivity or efficiency.

I found a few tricks to help me with managing my time and not feel so overwhelmed trying to be wonder woman and accomplish everything every day.  

5 Time Management Tips that works for me.

1. Make a list - Mark off a couple of items each day. Don't try and do everything on the list the first day of the week. Be practical.

2. Learn to say NO! - When someone asks you to volunteer or do something you don't want to do, say no, politely, but firmly. Don't feel guilty either. Focus on those things that are important to you, family, friends and health. Once you are comfortable with what you have time to do, turning down things that don't fit into your priorities is easier.

3. Use a timer - Set a kitchen timer or the timer on your phone for 10 to 15 minutes. Start cleaning/organizing the area in your house you want, you will be amazed how much you can accomplish in that amount of time when you focus your attention on one thing at a time. Just picking up for 5 minutes before you head out the door in the morning is also helpful.

4. Non-negotiable time for yourself - Plan time for yourself every day, whether to sit and meditate or just to have a cup of coffee. We change our plans to suit someone else's needs but rarely do we put our own needs first. Try doing this for yourself...This is one appointment that is key to your growth in all areas of your life, work, family life, socially.    

5. Identify your time wasters -  Anything that distracts you from the most important thing you need to be doing. Do you waste time reading, social media, talking on the phone or watching t.v.? My big time waster is social media. I would rather do this instead of housework, walk the dog or anything I should be doing. I need to unplug more often. How about you?

How do you manage your time?           

I hope my writings bring you information that is useful in your life.

Susan, xoxo

Benefits of Your Very Own VISION BOARD

Don't die with your DREAMS still inside you.

Vision Boards have been utilized by many successful people for years because they are cheap, UBER fun to create and effective. Sound awe-inspiring?

What is a Vision Board you ask?

A Vision Board is a collage of images, pictures (can be personal pictures) and affirmations of your dreams, goals and all the things that make you happy. Vision Boards are a great way to make you feel positive about yourself, life, family and your future. A vision board acts as a constant reminder to ourselves that our wants in life is BIG IMPORTANT BUSINESS! One reason our boards need updated from time to time. The beginning of the year or birthdays are good time to make that happen ~ so that the new visual imagery sparks new paths and interest in our eyes/brain and that its new and interesting information that we need to remember.

If you haven't already ~ set some goals! Goals are needed to manifest and make into a reality! Set your intentions, make up your mind to THRIVE instead of just SURVIVE and your half way there.  

5 Benefits of having your own vision board

1. Creating one is a blast!

This is a chance to reconnect with your inner child. Think of it as the grown up version of picking your toys out for Christmas or your birthday. Instead of toys its dream homes, new careers, retirement retreats, etc. Make it a party and have friends gather with food and drinks for a social activity.

2. Provides incentive.

Locating the vision board somewhere it can be seen often, provides you with a reminder daily of your goals and what you are working towards often. It's a handy tool to have when you have a challenge or obstacle along the way. Pushing forward is easier when you have a visual reminder.

  3. A great tool to help you with Visualization

Visualization doesn't come easy to all of us. While we all can list off the things we don't want for our lives, getting specific about the things we do want can sometimes be a challenge. For those of us holding a mental picture of what we want for 5 minutes a day seems impossible! Vision Boards provide you with physical pictures that you can focus onto help you make your goals come true!  

4. Helps you think outside of your limitations

Getting creative for some people is very scary. Fear of what if, vulnerability can be too much for some people to handle. Especially if someone would happen to see these goals and dreams. Creating a vision board is an exercise in thinking beyond what you believe is possible for you right now.  This activity allows you to open yourself up to opportunities and dreams and watch them actually happen!

5. It Works!

Put it to the test for yourself. Seeing is believing. If you would like to experience these benefits of having your own vision board, join me and sign up for the upcoming events tab!!!       

You're Beautiful

I read this today and had to share, what great words to remember and recite daily.

In case you haven't heard this today!

You're beautiful

You're loved

You're needed

You're alive for a reason

You're stronger than you think

You're gonna get through this

I'm glad your still alive

Don't give up

I care

Highlights of 2014

Wow, what a year this has been for me! I conquered some fears, left behind a relationship of 6 years, even created a few goals for myself that mean something to my spirit.

I started the year with studying for my certification in Life Coaching. How exciting that was for me. Every Tuesday night was devoted to class, listening and studying, something I haven't done for quite a few years!

In May, I traveled to the great Sunshine state for a vacation with 3 of my girlfriends. Lots of laughter, a few tears, but always great conversation every morning over coffee. We had some real heart  to heart discussion about family, faith, divorce and raising children. Wow we all learned so much about ourselves and each other. Everyone should take a vacation with their girlfriends just one time!

My fellow vacationers, Amy, Toni, myself and Carolyn

August was a month of super excitement for me becoming a Certified Life Coach. I was so pumped and proud of myself for sticking with it for 6 months and missed 1 class in process. Pure joy!

In September we welcomed a new addition to our already large family, Owen Ross. Nothing but pure sweetness, cuteness and that hair...just can't get enough of him. He is a great nephew to me and he is the son of my Godson Sean Ross.

Holidays and birthdays were exciting and fun, as usual, with my family this year. It was a time to visit with members I don't ordinarily get the chance to sit and talk and catch up with. My daughter Hannah (my sunshine) has a late December birthday which gives us another reason to get together and celebrate.

Well, that is a wrap on 2014! Stay tuned and look out 2015!

I hope my writings excite you today and every day of your life.

Peace,

~Susan~

Moving Past the Pain

 Moving Past the Pain

It has been said that going through a divorce is one of the most stressful transitions a person will go through in their lifetime… Crippled with stress, sleepless nights, financial concerns, and loneliness are just to name a few of the life transitions with a divorce. With one out of two marriages ending in divorce, the painful process can be one heck of a journey that is unforgettable. When do you get passed the pain you ask, only if I had a crystal and was a fortune teller could I answer that question? For some it takes months, others years, and for some people they never get over it.

I can only speak for myself and from my experience with divorce…it was stressful, I was ate up with concern for my kids that were a junior in high school and junior at an out of state college. All I could hope for was that at some point my kids understand and learn from this life changing event.

Now for something rather funny that happened while going through some stressful times. I was attending a committee meeting for my daughter’s junior prom, I came from work and looked down to see I had 2 different shoes on. Yikes! I was horrified knowing that I had worn 2 different shoes to work and who had noticed. This was a confirmation of not knowing if I was coming or going during this time. I didn’t have an appetite, stricken with fear of everything, but knew I would get through it because of the support system I had in place. My family was my backbone, my cheering squad every time I wanted to start my stinking thinking and have a pity party which was a party of one… 

That was 9 years ago and I am such a different person because of that life transition. I found my strength, my independence, and my inner love for a person I have lived with all my life… ME. What a breath of fresh air to really know and love the person you are looking back at in the mirror.

 Who do you want to be after your life’s transition?

Are you ready for some changes to happen?

Tell me about the changes you have encountered