Dear Friends,
In the last month I have witnessed several situations of women being shamed and demeaned in public. As a bystander looking in it was: verbal, financial, and emotional abuse for these women. Here's one example:
Just a couple of weeks ago, I was eating dinner with my husband and I couldn’t help but overhear the words being tossed back and forth between a couple sitting next to us. The young lady sat there while the young man called her every name in the book - even going so far as to tell her that she was a terrible mother to their children. (!!)
As a bystander I sat there and did nothing, but I just wanted to slap the young man upside the head and tell him to leave her if he felt that way. As for the young woman, I thought this is how we lose our sparkle & our zest for life.
Another situation I observed this past month was a partner not paying his portion of the household bills. While he was using his money elsewhere, the female in house had to pay more out of pocket . . . causing extra stress and resentment on her part.
It is common for women let other peoples' words, & opinions of us define our worthiness in life . . . letting someone else have the power over our minds. This can lead to depression, low self esteem, anxiety, chronic pain the feeling of "I guess I deserved this because . . . "
That's BULLSHIT LADIES!!!!
Quit putting up with unacceptable behavior!!
Seeing these women going through emotionally tough times brought back a few memories for me. I too have been in situations where I let someone else be in the drivers seat of a relationship. I willingly sat in the passenger seat and once even sat in backseat. (True story)
I settled for crumbs . . . whatever I could get from the relationship because I thought it was the best I could get. No one could tell me any different until I hit the wall with the bullshit I was being fed. I came to realize I'd rather be alone with myself than alone in that relationship.
Reflecting on those times now I realize they were learning moments and stepping stones that built the strong woman I am today.
I wish I could have stopped for just a moment to give the young lady being berated by her partner a hug and assure her that love does not look like harsh words and one sided conversations - that she is worth more than that. To the woman sitting at that table, this is from all of the women who have been where you are right now. We persisted, and so can you.
In Solidarity,
Susan